PREPARER: İREM NAZ GUVEL
Barbie, the new bastion of feminism, showed with its movie that the famous doll is not only a fashion icon, but also conveys a deep message about gender norms and male fragility. He appeared as a character where women can stand on their own without needing anyone to define them, how women fulfill many tasks tirelessly, are not dependent on anyone, and follow their own passions. Even though she sometimes impresses us with scenes like “Look, we’re doing feminism here”, we accept Barbie as a new bastion of feminism.
Barbie’s long-time boyfriend, ‘just Ken’, runs after her from place to place like a bag that Barbie wears on her arm. It is a striking take on patriarchy and gender roles by exploring male fragility through the character’s eyes. The film implies that raising boys to be strong and unemotional can make it difficult for characters like Ken to accept their vulnerabilities. The film emphasizes that men’s acceptance of emotional vulnerability is necessary for love, empathy, courage and creativity.
For a while, Ken is reacting against how social norms define and restrict men by identifying himself only as ‘Ken’. The Kens begin to change when they move from Barbieland, a matriarchal utopia, to discover patriarchy in the real world. Why don’t women’s lives revolve around them? What can they do to correct this injustice? He is trying to destroy feminism, which he sees as his enemy, to demonstrate his power, to dominate women and make them dependent on him. Sound familiar? The film visualizes, step by step, the emotions and ideas that lead men to anti-feminist and misogynistic thinking, and in doing so, reveals the rotten foundations of it all.
KEN’S IN OUR LIVES
At the end of the movie, Kens and Barbies find middle ground by accepting gender equality. Unfortunately, we don’t have Kens who realize their vulnerability like Ryan Gosling in Barbieland. There are many Kens in our lives, from toxic to manipulative, that stick to us like ticks.
First, let’s look at the Kens that we will run away from without looking back when we encounter them: Narcissists. While they attract attention with their charm, appearance and charisma, we can only understand how dangerous they can be through experience. Once you become attached to them, it is inevitable to fight their demands, criticism and selfishness. If you have different views on something, his is absolutely correct. For unknown reasons, they are very arrogant, arrogant and overconfident. They think that by leaning on this, they will act more demanding, noisy and arrogant and attract the attention of those around them much more quickly. But unfortunately they don’t realize how toxic behavior this is and they never will.
The secret of control freaks is to intimidate you when you first meet them and make sure their controlling behavior goes unnoticed. They try to decide what’s best for you and aren’t afraid to tell you how to dress or act. They take control, not all at once, but gradually. Many women think they will never fall for these controllers, but we should not forget how cunning they can be.
Unfortunately, as women, we are exposed to manipulative people in many areas of life. They are number one in being aware of their own power and being able to turn things that are right for them to their advantage. “Did you wear that bag? He tries to guide the other person within his own boundaries with his ‘innocent’ suggestions such as “I wouldn’t mind if I were you” and makes them feel that it is never their fault but always on the other party and asks “Am I the problem?” They inflict psychological violence by causing you to question yourself. Don’t let this ‘cool’ guy make you feel worthless and change you.
ANTI-HERO KEN’S
Especially during youth, bad boys had an irresistible charm. Fortunately, as time progressed, it became clear that they were unbearable, but realizing the truth does not erase the existence of these people from the universe. Not playing by the rules makes them look brave and extremely sexy. They usually go their own way, and we’re thrilled that they want to take us on that journey. The biggest mistake made against them is thinking that they can change these ‘bad Kens’. Spoiler alert: They don’t change.
He’s a charming, funny, Ryan Gosling lookalike you’ll want to introduce to your family and friends. However, as you get to know him, you can see that he is actually a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Who is this? Liar Ken. It is not known where the idea that men are bad at lying came from, but it does not reflect the truth. We haven’t forgotten Barney Stinson, who prepared a guide to pick up women and with his lies that even the devil wouldn’t think of.
We all fall into the trust circle of jealousy once in a while, and that’s completely normal. The circle is broken with Kens who do not hesitate to play the jealousy card in order to see that their lover is honest and loyal to them and to feel sufficient. There are also Kens who somehow come into our lives, both because they claim that jealousy is an expression of ‘love’ and with the slogan “I don’t trust you, I don’t trust the environment”, but we wish we would never meet again.
Kens that we will run away from without looking back when we encounter them; narcissists, anti-heroes, those who never grow up, ego-magnets of the digital age…
HATEING THE SLEEPING MAN
Let’s not forget the Sticky Kens. There are also those who are always with us, even if we do not want them to be, and who do not perceive the signs of rejection, knowingly or unknowingly, and who stay in our coverage area for a long time and then cling on after a while. We hated the sleeping man, didn’t we? The desires of lazy Kens, who do not take responsibility and avoid doing work, are endless. Moreover, they have many dreams but never take action, they look for women who will meet their needs and enjoy sucking the soul of the woman next to them like a parasite.
THOSE WHO NEVER GROW UP
Although boys mature late, some never make it through puberty. These never-growing-up children with Peter Pan syndrome want their freedom not to be restricted, they shape every detail according to their own wishes, and because they do not like to take responsibility, they need a woman who will mother them along the way. In addition, they continue to flirt with others. The relationship can be fun, but it’s best not to put any responsibility on him.
If there’s anyone scarier than Peter Pan, it’s the indecisive. They can never be sure of what they want, they talk a lot about their past, they destroy the other person like a rodent because they are not clear and cannot make a decision. You may have a great time with the connection-phobic, but every time you want to take a step forward, they avoid it like the plague. They make excuses not to introduce you to their friends or family.
EGO-MAGNETICS OF THE DIGITAL AGE
‘Ghosting’, in short, pretending to be dead, being seen, disappearing without a trace has become a trend in today’s relationships. The Kens in our lives also loved playing the role of the cute ghost. In an era where technology is developing day by day and phones are always in our hands, no one is unreachable. It is not an acceptable method for someone you have been talking to for a week or maybe have been with for years to end the relationship in this way. It goes without saying that these people avoid responsibility, feel insecure, are cool on the outside and poor on the inside. Even if they want to come back into your life, they don’t deserve your attention.
Unfortunately, many Kens, like the Issız Kens whose Instagram is full of sports selfies, whose egos are at their peak, who adopt gaslighting as an ideology and who say “You don’t understand me”, continue to be the breath of life in our lives.
MANIPULATIVE KEN’S
Men who try to guide the other person within their own boundaries with suggestions they consider innocent make the other person feel that the fault is always with them.
CHOOSING THE RIGHT KEN
Of course, not every Ken is bad. There are also Kens who carry green flags instead of red. Let’s face it, there is no perfect man, namely Ken. Men who always play their cards openly and are transparent in communication help us establish healthy communication and add excitement to our lives. If a man has the ability to empathize, he carries the biggest green flag. Men who feel good and have a positive outlook keep energy high and create an encouraging atmosphere to deal with difficulties. A responsible man stays true to his word and fulfills the roles in his life. Men who carry green flags value women and sow the seeds of healthy and reliable relationships. By following these flags, we can bring the right people into our lives.