It is said that humans are created with emotions, not logic. Because you’re human, it’s natural to feel resentment, hurt, or pain when others hurt you. Forgiveness is complex and involves an intense and complex process.
Before you can forgive the person who caused you pain, you need to confront your own feelings that come with the experience of being hurt. But despite all this, forgiveness is a difficult act to do. They say that people who can forgive others who hurt them are strong individuals.
From where? Because forgiveness requires a strong character, the ability to heal oneself and bring peace not only to one’s own life but also to the lives of other people.
WHAT DOES FORGIVING MEAN?
You’ve probably heard the phrase “Forgive and forget”. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting or making excuses for other people’s negative behavior. Instead, forgiveness is accepting the negative experience and the unpleasant feelings that accompany it, and making a conscious decision.
Forgiveness is letting go of resentment or anger towards other people. It is also the ability to let go of the desire to take revenge or hurt others who have hurt you. At its core, forgiveness is showing compassion for yourself and the person who caused you to be offended.
WHY IS FORGIVING HARD?
It’s hard to forget what others have done or let go of experiences that hurt you. Moreover, you will feel a lot of resentment, especially if the person who hurt you is the person you love, who you least expect to hurt you. Remember: “The strongest people are those who can forgive.”
Forgiveness is never easy because it requires you to face your own hurtful feelings. Naturally, when you feel hurt, you will feel angry and betrayed, and all these feelings can be overwhelming. But most of the time, your strong feelings protect you from further hurt.
When you feel betrayed by other people and other people break your trust, you learn to keep your walls high and not let anyone get close to you. You often feel that you cannot justify the negative emotions you harbor because they validate your feelings.
WHAT DO YOU GAIN BY FORGIVING?
Ironically, holding on to pain, anger, or hurt can take a toll on your physical, mental, and psychological health. Hiding your negative emotions can stress you out, make you uncomfortable, or even make you sick. Indeed, unforgiveness can turn around and find you again. The more you carry this anger and resentment, the more you will suffer.
On the other hand, the act of forgiveness feels like pulling out a thorn in your chest. But what exactly do you gain by forgiving? Reply; empathy, happiness, good relationships…
HOW TO BE FORGIVEN?
Forgiveness is a deep, complete and personal process. It’s not always easy to do, but forgiveness isn’t impossible if you’re willing to do it. To develop the ability to forgive, follow these steps:
Accept your feelings
It’s best to be kind to yourself and allow yourself to see your injured parts.
Seeing the situation from other people’s perspective is crucial to understanding why they are the way they are. Empathy shows that the person hurting you has struggles.
choose to be kind
Kindness is something you can give to yourself and others for free. But in reality, it is not easy to show kindness, especially to those who have hurt or offended you. So courtesy is a choice. You must choose to be a better person and not consciously let your emotions sabotage your happiness.
We all have ways of healing. One person may recover faster than another. At the same time, other people may recover more slowly than some. However, this does not mean that forgiveness is impossible. You only have one life to live, and holding on to grudges or pain will make you live your life miserably. So instead of burning it, build a bridge.