The smartest thing any celebrity can do is start an alcohol line. Well, he may not be the smartest business decision—alcohol, and the food and beverage industry in general, is notoriously crowded—but it’s definitely a move I like, and therefore the smartest way to protest I.
I wasn’t old enough to drink (brag) Real Housewives of New York alum Ramona Singer had her own line of pinot grigio, aptly named Ramona Pinot Grigio, and that’s now a distant memory apart from Singer’s $100 a month storage. But still, I regularly patrol online markets in search of a bottle that may have collected dust in someone’s cellar for years. I’ve come to terms with the fact that the exorbitant amount of money I’d scatter on this relic meant that I would never have children.
If a celebrity puts their name on a bottle, I’m dying to try it. After all, I’m a drinking monster. The Sun Goddess wine of Mary J. Blige is sacred. Kendall Jenner’s 818 is just as ordinary. In principle I won’t buy Ryan Reynolds’ Aviation gin, but I found a way to try it out for free. Mariah Carey’s Black Irish liqueur? Come on, do you think I was born yesterday? Yummy.
More broadly, I will try famously any product that has any celebrity added. One morning last December, as I was walking to an organic market to buy the two ingredients needed to make Lindsay Lohan’s “Pilk,” passersby caught up with me, describing my step as “jumping with unsettling joy.” That’s why I came into this world: to consume products made by celebrities and endorsed by superstars, and to write about my experiences. Before aliens blow up this planet, PDFs of my bullshit will be stored on a USB stick and used as an eternal example of humanity’s spoils.
All that said, you can imagine my excitement when I learned last month that Jennifer Lopez was launching a new line of low-alcohol spritz drinks called Delola. This was exciting for two reasons: my affinity for famous products and the name of the product, which evokes an era of J.Lo. minute.
The mission of my new life was to get my hands on all three flavors, a long process that only increased my excitement. Seven weeks later, I’m living the Delola life. And I must tell you, dear reader, Jennifer Lopez—the respected actress, sometimes musician, and cold cup fighter—has created a product so intriguing and excellent that I worry about the wild demand it will create when it rolls out across the country.
And for good reason! Delola isn’t just a cash grab for Lopez. There’s some serious mixologist art that goes into making these things, thanks in part to their co-development by celebrity bartender Lynnette Marrero. But moreover, I bet Lopez will never refer to it again, a drink that bears the name of some sort of alter ego. When Delola was released, she linked her name to “Lola”, the nickname Lopez used for her “more fun, carefree side”. Ten crazy messages sent to close friends soon revealed that most people didn’t realize that Lola is also the name of a short-lived artist personality Lopez abandoned after her failed 2009 single.
Lopez briefly worked under the name Lola for “Fresh Out the Oven”, which is actually her name. First Collaboration with the Miami King Pitbull. There’s even a weird video of the song directed by Jonas Akerlund. Those of us on the pulse were intrigued by Lopez’s mysterious new personality and earworm bachelor. (Years later, I even carefully preserved the date before I took up my stint on The Daily Beast’s Obsessed.) But after a lukewarm broadcast, the dreaded “buzz one” in the press was sent to the graveyard, and Lola was speechless. again.
Until now! Lola is resurrected, and I feel like Mary Magdalene must have felt when she discovered the stone was rolling. And what better way to celebrate Lola’s return than to cheer with her friends over a glass of their new line of drinks?
The Delola spritz line includes three low-calorie, low-alcohol flavors: Bella Berry, made with premium vodka; L’Orange crafted with premium amaro; and Paloma Rosa, who was not so created with top-notch tequila as it was lowered from the heavens by a stream of golden light shimmering in God’s divine love. Each flavor is 111 calories or less per serving and ranges from 10.5 percent to 11.5 percent alcohol by volume. Basically, Delola is intended to be an enjoyable sipping experience. These aren’t for your little sister to rage at a college graduation party—unless she’s the proud owner of a CD copy. Love?In this case, he should be knighted so as not to waste his time with school.
The team at Delola sent me all three flavors to try, as they are currently only available in a handful of states in the US with launches in progress. How does one prepare oneself to step into the Delola life? I’ve never been to Italy, whose lush shores inspired the spritz line, and I’m still showered with tomatoes on the streets because I don’t like it. mafia mama. But being a Delo lover is already more about the mindset. It will cover the cost of drinks, airfare and accommodation.
It’s hard to choose which flavor to try first as each Delola bottle is so beautifully packaged (with some serious glassware embellishments), I didn’t want to twist the top to desecrate it. The spritz themselves are bright and colorful; They don’t have that eerie, artificial malt liquor tone. The liveliest is Bella Berry, which I opened first. I poured some into a wine glass and frowned a little, taking a sip. The taste of Bella Berry did not quite meet my expectations. I then looked at a few written urges on the bottle to consume Delola chilled or on ice –ahh. He is from me. “Never go against Momsaid Lopez, shooting me six miles away with a sniper rifle.
On ice, Bella Berry is more successful. It tastes less Bud Lite Strawberita and more strawberry in syrup but a little too much saccharine for my liking. It’s like you tucked one of the lollipops the pediatrician gave you as a kid in the fridge. Still, I attribute my mild distaste to Bella Berry’s vodka-based flavor. Everyone has a liquor they refuse to touch, mine is vodka. After partying with contraband in your Fashion Institute of Technology dorm room, enough chicken sandwiches at 4 a.m. and you’ll agree.
I wouldn’t mind Bella Berry if that was my only option, but my little disgust for it made me hesitate to switch to Paloma Rosa, Delola’s tequila-based spritz. I had left it to cool on my mother’s order before trying the remaining two flavors. Paloma Rosa combines hibiscus and grapefruit, two notes I love, so my expectations were high. Paloma Rosa is the best ready-to-drink cocktail I’ve ever had in my life.
It’s light, extremely flavorful, and has the perfect hint of tequila, which I think is essential for drinks like this. I’m not looking for sugar, I want my palette to be reminded that this is a cocktail. Paloma Rosa not only tastes good, but also better more than any expensive mixed drink I splurge on at a restaurant. To me, Delola’s crown jewel. Once it’s properly down on the East End, you’ll have to line up behind me because I’ll be camping outside, waiting for the liquor store to open. Yes, I realize how alarming this is going to sound.
After Paloma Rosa raised the bar to unimaginable heights, I’m stuck with my final offer: L’Orange, amaro-based spritz. it means me to admire amaro will just scrape the surface. I know I look 19, but I’m actually on the verge of 29 and don’t really bother with hard drinks anymore. Alcohol consumption is a sipping experience, and I love a nice, low alcohol, full, fruity amaro. I’ll be buying anything that makes me feel like ’80s-era Kathleen Turner, dressed in red satin and smoking while I use the coolness of my glass to frost my neck.
L’Orange is another complete gobsmack. Definitely fruity without the synthetic taste. Amaro sounds enough, that was a great realization, as I was afraid a lower alcohol spirit would get lost in the formulation. Notes of passion fruit are sprinkled over the orange, and neither overpowers the other. This is a complete and complete hit. L’Orange is the premium alternative to the Aperol spritz and will cost you up to $50 for New York ingredients if you want to make it yourself (and the starting price of $18 per glass at a restaurant isn’t cheap at all. ). much better).
Delola easily blows other ready-to-drink cocktails out of the water. Too many pre-made drinks like this—especially ones from famous brands—are bursting with sugar, calories, and hangovers rather than taste. Delola is something really different, quite special. It looks, tastes and feels like a rich, high-end experience. And gosh, do we all deserve a little luxury in our lives? It’s always made me a little sad to think of Lola, the alter ego that never actually existed. maybe it was more Fresh out of the oven But one thing’s for sure: No one can say Delola is uncooked.
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