If you are to draft professional athletes for your own brawl team, a team that will be at your disposal any time you get into a street fight or whenever you feel like beating someone up, a team of the most badass mothereffers that will beath the holy hell out of anyone you asked them to, who would it be?
This is mine.
10. Mike Vallely
Career Stat:Mike Vallely is often referred to as Mike V. He is a professional skateboarder since the mid 80s. On the side, he is a musician, actor, television personality, and stuntman.
Badassery Stat: If anyone out there thinks skateboarding is for pussies, try saying that in Mike V’s face and let’s just see who will look like a homo after. He has retired from skateboarding and I wouldn’t be surprised if he goes into MMA after. With no martial arts training, he took on four frat guys outside of 711 who were stupid enough to call him, well, a pussy for skateboarding. You’re your with Mike V, you can walk around town and look everyone in the eye and be assured you’re safe in his fist.
Watch the video and see how Mike made this four assholes experience the most humiliating day of their lives.
9. Ty Cobb
Cobb is also nicknamed "The Georgia Peach" and was an outfielder in baseball born in Narrows, Georgia. He is unanimously acknowledged as one of the best players ever. Perhaps, one of the most famous sports photos was that of Cobb stealing third during the 1909 season amidst a cloud of dirt showing the grit and ferocity of Cobb’s face and style.
Before television was common enough to cover every baseball game, Cobb was already establishing no fuckin’ thug can mess with him.
* Cobb assaulted a spectator Claude Lueker when Lueker called him a “half-nigger”. Cobb climbed to the stands and attacked Lueker who turned out to be a handicap. Onlookers shouted at Cobb to stop because the man had no hands, Cobb replied, “I don’t care if he got no feet!”
* Cobb once had a heated argument with umpire Billy Evans. They decided to settle it out of the court, one on one, fist to fist. Cobb knocked Evans down, pinned him, and began choking him
* Cobb slapped an African American elevator operator for being “uppity.” Another African American watchman tried to stop them so Cobb stabbed him
* The badassery is completed with Cobb’s willingness to everything he did. In his book, he said, “Sure, I fought. I had to fight all my life just to survive. They were all against me. Tried every dirty trick to cut me down, but I beat the bastards and left them in the ditch.”
Imagine him in a streetfight. He would just turn to anyone who is trying to thrashtalk him and attack him with complete disregard to their handicap, heart condition, mental condition, whatever fuckin’ condition.
8. Latrell Sprewell
Sprewell is a professional basketball player for the Golden State Warriors, the New York Knicks and the Minnesota Timberwolves. He played in four NBA All-Star games and he also choked his coach P.J. Carlesimo during practice.
All these gadam players keep on hitting fans and opponents well Sprewell found that boring and decided to go for his own coach. How badass is that? The incident happened during practice when the coach asked Sprewell to make better passes. Sprewell said he is not in the mood for criticism and is not exactly feeling him at that time. The coach approached him so Sprewell dragged him to the ground by his neck and threatened to kill him. Hey, he was warned. Damn, imagine that in a street fight!
He was also charged with reckless driving after injuring two people several months after the choking incident. That’s badassery for you. He spares no.
7. Mike Tyson
Mike Tyson is a professional heavyweight boxer and is often regarded as the best we have ever had since Mohammad Ali. Tyson was the youngest boxer to win the WBC, WBA and IBF world heavyweight titles simultaneously. He won the WBC title when he was 20 years, 4 months and 22 days old.
He was the first heavyweight boxer to hold the WBA, WBC and IBF titles simultaneously. Tyson is considered to have been one of the greatest heavyweight boxers of all time.
Okay, I will have to say it was a toss between Tyson and that other badass boxer Manny Pacquiao. However, Pacquiao is just too clean a player. It has been said that the only way to beat Pacquiao is to play dirty because it distracts him. He doesn’t like playing dirty. In a street fight, there is no room for a fair play. You apply a little amount of morals and you’re effin’ dead. So I am going to go for Mike Tyson.
Alhough I do not think his rape charge will hardly do anything in a street fight (and I do think that’s more coward and stupid than badass), he has other badass acts and the greatest of which is biting Evander Hollyfield’s ear during a fight. Every street fighting team needs that right, a pussy fighter willing to get those cheap shots done. I mean, when your hands and feet are pinned down, you have nothing left but your teeth. You need someone willing to bite every motherfucker who tries to go near you because that is a street fighting insurance.
6. Zinedine Zidane
Zinedine Yazid Zidane is a retired French World Cup-winning footballer. He is acknowledged as one of the best players to have every walked a football field. His rallied France to the 1998 World Cup and Euro 2000. He carried Real Madrid to the 2002 UEFA Champions League. A three-time FIFA World Player of the Year winner. He retired from professional football after the 2006 World Cup and that’s when he proved he can also be useful in a street fight.
In the final minutes of the World Cup Finals, an Italian opponent wouldn’t stop shit talking Zidane. So he did the sweetest thing in the world, he laid his head on the Italian player’s chest. I think that Italian player had some heart problems because he just went down the ground. They said it’s a cheap shot. I say I don’t’ give a fuck. I need him in my street fighting team.
I imagine Zidane taking the first shot, you know. In the beginning of a fight when people are still sizing everyone up and figuring out a strategy and who they can take. Zidane would go, “just fuckin’ hit someone you fagots.” And he’d headbutt the nearest guy.
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